I hope this encourages someone today:

... Jesus likes me more than you like me and we are all going to have to get used to that... So here’s the truth: God doesn’t think your crap is awesome, He doesn’t think your arrogance is beautiful and okay, but He has ten times the patience with you than your friends. Your whining and complaining and relapses into old sins are not okay with Him, but they don’t affect His love for you. He likes you more than your friends like you. 

- Donald Miller, author of Blue Like Jazz (one of my absolute favorite books ever).

You can read the entire post here.

New Year Resolutions?

Instead of making another New Year Resolution(s) that you know you're going to give up on by February, how about trying something different every month for the duration of that month**?

Source

The idea is simple:

1. Make a list of things you've always wanted to try or do more of or do less of (for example, say you've always wanted to cut down on your sugar consumption or you've always wanted to do 5-minute jumping jacks everyday or read your Bible everyday or whatever).
2. Pick a month, any month in the year, and commit to doing that one thing everyday for that month!
3. Bonus points if you can come up with 12 or more goals and commit to trying one or more every month in 2013.

Why should you do this?

1. It's simple: All you have to do is try something new at the beginning of every month and stick to it till the end of that month.
2. It's measurable: Your success is determined by whether you complete each goal everyday for 30 days.
3. It teaches you to discipline yourself: How many things have you tried to do for 30 days straight and succeeded?
4. It gives you a sense of accomplishment: While everybody else will be lamenting how they failed to accomplish X and Y in 2013, you'll be able to say you accomplished 5 or 6 (or 12!!) new things in 2013!
5. It fosters new habits: How will you know whether you actually enjoy exercising every day unless you try it?
6. It makes you more interesting: Imagine introducing yourself to someone at a party as Hi, my name is so-and-so and I just completed my first novel in 30 days!
7. You make your own rules: No one is asking you to climb Mount Everest. You can make your daily goal as simple or as complicated as you want.

If it gets too hard, just suck it up! You're only doing that thing for a month anyway, right? And if you fall behind schedule one month, don't beat yourself up about it; there's always next month.

This is my “New Year Resolution” with a twist for 2013. Who's with me?

** I got the idea for this here.

Crossroads

Everyone around me seems to be getting on with their lives - taking up new jobs, going to grad school, taking the GMAT, moving back to Nigeria, getting in relationships, getting engaged, getting married - you know, moving on to the next big thing.

I've lived in NY for two years doing essentially the same thing. I'm antsy. I'm restless. I'm ready for change, for my next big thing.

I've written about this before. I know you're tired of hearing of it. I'm tired of writing about it too.

But my dilemma this time is a different one. Maybe it's the next chapter of this whole what's next phase I've been going through.

The thing is I'm finally at a crossroads, and I can't seem to make a decision.

Do I pursue what I personally want out of my life? Or am I willing to surrender my dreams to God? Everything, all of it, completely, totally, no holding back kind of surrender? Going to him everyday to ask what I should do next and not moving an inch until I hear from him?

I find myself asking if it really needs to be an all-or-nothing surrender or if I can somehow marry the two. I think I'm secretly hoping for something like this:

I'm like, I could give up the Tokyo thing if I get the Paris one and all the other stuff. Hmm, God? Let's negotiate something here. You say, forget the fame, and I say, well at least can I be rich??

It seems ludicrous, right?

I read Jesus's words in Luke: Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. Or in a translation that most people recognize, If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me.

And I'm just like, awwww man. Seriously?? Why did I have to have a crisis of conscience about this? Why can't I just be like every other sane person and go after what I want? Maybe I can even sprinkle some Jesus in the mix. Yeahhhhhhhhh I can be a model, but hey! Maybe I can use that as an opportunity to invite one to church or pray for him/her! Or I could go and live in Singapore but I'd totally get involved with a ministry and do some mission stuff. Eh, eh??

But in my heart, I know. Deep down, I know what would honor God most. I just need to make that right turn and not look back.

And I guess until then, I'll keep doing the current big thing (and trying not to go crazy doing it).

Cleaning house (Part I)

Source

I did a brave thing today. I deleted his number from my phone.

Forreal this time.

No use tormenting myself.

Freeing my mind for God things.

:)

Life Lessons at 24

I have reached the ripe old age of 24.

When I was a kid, I thought for sure that by now, I'd be married, having the best sex of my life, making a lot of money, and living "the life" in America. One of these things has come to pass. I'll let you guess which one.

I am tempted to point a gun at 25 and threaten it to stay away for a long time, maybe another 3 or 4 years. What do you think? I could camp out at night, hold vigil with all of the lights off, ready to defend when the armed squad of Existential Life Questions, Quarter Life Crisis, Aging Blood Cells and Old(er) People Problems^TM attacks and tries to take me hostage.

But God did not give me a spirit of fear. I should do the brave thing and love the enemy.

Anyway, it's time I shared some wisdom from the other side of 24. Gather round, my children. I'm about to spit some Proverbs.

Men
These are simple creatures, not hard to understand, not hard to please. When in doubt, ask other men.

Home
Home is where you're free.

Love
Not to be mistaken for feelings.

Love
The best way to learn to love is to act as if you already do. You can't just sit around and manufacture it. C. S. Lewis said this in Mere Christianity, and I was like:

Source

You
Are not the center of the universe. I know it seems obvious, but it really must be said.

Faith
Step out.

Money
You will never have "enough", so figure out how much you really need and suppress the desire to have more.

Money
You know when you're faced with the idea of doing something "insane" with your money, like giving all of one paycheck to charity, for example, and you suddenly find yourself nagged with thoughts like what if this whole Jesus thing isn't real?

God
Whatever you think you've already figured out about God is only a tiny fraction of who He is.

Life
If Jesus isn't Lord of it all, he's not Lord at all.

Stuff
You have too much of it.

Work
Helping "rich people become richer" isn't really your problem, or your real job for that matter. Your job is to work willingly at whatever you do, as if you're working for the Lord rather than for people.

Fear
Fear is evil. Sometimes it's good for you. But mostly, it's evil.

Prayer
You could have such a powerful, fruitful, world-changing prayer life. Why are you content with less than average??? Why???????????????

Life
Don't settle for mediocre.

Health
24 years of not exercising or eating healthy will eventually take its toll on you. My bets are on your 25th birthday.

Time
Spend it wisely. Seriously. Get off the internet.

Sleep
There really is no reason for you to stay up till 1 am when you have to be up at 6. GO TO BED AT 9 PM!!!

This is my life everyday.

Source

Life
If you really believe that there is life beyond this earthly one, you need to start acting like it.




Be right back... I'm going to try to follow my own advice now.



Question: What did you learn at 24 that still holds true? What do you hope to have learned by the time you turn 24?

To Do List

I've been self-diagnosed as having ADD:

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I like to tell myself that I'm an efficient multitasker, which is possibly the biggest oxymoron ever.

So I tend to have lots of ToDo lists lying around on post-its. Today when I got home from work, still high on 3 cups of black tea (coffee is for the birds), I decided to create one list of the essentials:

This isn't even exhaustive. I ran out of space.

Impossible is nothing.

What I've done lately (in no particular order)

1. Moved into a new apartment. I now walk to work. The view from my bed looks like this:
   
   And best of all? My roommates are awesome. And I didn't have to lift a finger to find them. Seriously. God practically dropped them in my life. I did have to spend 2 frustrating, fruitless, discouraging months looking for a place though, but right when I decided to leave it all to God and go on vacation, things happened. Pretty cool, huh?
2. Helped my younger brother move into college. You may remember this meltdown from a few months ago which pretty much stemmed from my lack of faith around God's promise about this to me months earlier. To be perfectly honest, the whole thing is still completely unreal to me. I think about those desperate weeks when I couldn't even bring myself to worship because of how helpless things seemed and I look at my brother now and can't believe what God has done. God is good. I mean, really. And listen to me, if God has promised you something, no matter how impossible it looks or how weak your faith is, trust me, He will deliver. I am living proof.
3. Went to NY Fashion Week. I only made it to one show that lasted all of 10 minutes, and it was so much fun, but more than that, it really made me miss being on the runway. You know, of all the things I've dabbled in, this is the one that I most want to pursue and that I'm most reluctant to take on. Why? Because I look in the mirror and see the smile lines around my lips and the scars on my belly and the damage on my toes and convince myself that nobody would sign me. But you know what? would is the key word here. I really won't know unless I try, and I think I've worked up (most of) the nerve to try.
4. Went on my first real vacation. Vacations are so underrated. Seriously. Everybody needs to take a week off from work at least once a year. I really can't understand how I survived the last 2 years without a proper vacation. I went to St Maarten with a couple friends, and those were the best 5 days of my life.

   

   I'm so spoiled now that I refuse to go to beaches where the water isn't blue

5. Read some amazing books. The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky, The Lover's Dictionary by David Levithan, The Family Fang by Kevin Wilson, The Circle series by Ted Dekker... All of them with nothing in common; all of them amazing, amazing books.
6. Saw Jeremy Camp, Third Day, Phil Wickham and Chris Tomlin in concert. Everybody who knows me knows that Jeremy Camp is my absolute fave. I just adore his voice, and his songs are so full of heartfelt worship.
7. Bought a Ukulele. It looks like this:
   
   I'm so excited! I still haven't learned to use it - I'm new to string instruments (or really any instruments) so the finger placements seem impossible for me to master, but still, I'm excited! My dream is to learn enough songs, maybe 6 - 10, and play them back to back on the streets of NY. Or learn a few carols to play with my friend and his crew on the subways during Christmas. How hipster. Haha!
8. Went extreme-sporting. I went scuba diving and ziplining in St Maarten, and camping, hiking, and rock climbing upstate NY. I thought I wasn't an outdoors person, but they were actually both exhilarating experiences.
9. Made some new friends. I pride myself on being an introvert. It's just the way I am. I hated it in secondary school and college because everyone called me a snob, but now I don't care. My preferred explanation of this peculiarity is that I just don't like people, and I say things like that to shock people because why not? People are too much work. Books are so much easier. But anyway God said to me, Oh no no no, you are going to meet people and you are going to like them, and then He sent along some people for me to like. Lol. I mean, it's God, I can't exactly say no.
10. Discovered the beauty that is Matt Bomer. Behold:

    

    Be still my heart!

    Should guys even be legally this hot?!?!?!
11. Deepened some friendships; took on more responsibility at work; seriously considered moving to Singapore, then threw that idea out of the window when my manager said it would mean a salary decrease; seriously considered finding a job that will take me to Paris or Singapore and still seriously considering that; met some new people but still not going on any dates; decided it might finally be time to give up on that lingering crush; gave up crush briefly; rekindled said crush when my friends said they think he might like me; still blessed; still madly in love with Jesus; still looking for opportunities to serve His kingdom; still 100% certain that there is a God and His name is Jesus; still 100% clueless about what I want to do for the rest of my life... :)

Anyway, that's been my summer. What's new in everyone's life?

Happiness is...

... To scream this song at the top of your lungs in the shower, huge smile on your face, soap suds dancing to the beat around your lips, the laughter pouring out of you as you yell offkey to the bathroom walls (vaguely hoping at the back of your mind that they are soundproof....) (why aren't bathroom walls soundproof anyway?!?!?!):

And when all else fades,
My soul will dance with You,
Where the love lasts forever!

Yes!!!!

PS - Hope you guys are well! I've missed you! Been reading your comments and blog posts, I promise. CRAZY, CRAZY couple of weeks. Not so good news = wayyyyyyyyyyyyy behind on that devo I started, lol. Better news = I've got lots of awesome reasons why! Next post! :)

There's gotta be more to life

I've been thinking a lot lately about 1 Peter 4:10 that commands us to be faithful stewards of God's abundant grace in our lives — those things he's blessed us all uniquely with. Our lives and personalities and interests and skills and hobbies and spiritual gifts. I haven't been the best steward of mine, and the primary reason is that I lack discipline. 


But I had somewhat of an epiphany recently and realized that continuing to live my super routine life — my regular 9-5 Monday through Friday, brunch or drinks on Saturdays, and church on Sundays — won't cut it for the next 60 or 70 or 80 years of my life. I don't want to waste the best years of my life (or any years of my life, for that matter) just watching it pass me by.

There's got to be more to life.

I want to do a round-the-world trip. I want to live in France and Tokyo and Australia. I want to serve on a missions trip. I want to write books that will make people laugh and cry and laugh again. I want to learn another language. Or two. I want to learn to play the guitar. Or the drums. Or the piano. And then proceed to torture some poor street corner in Paris with my fantastic horrible voice. I want to adopt a kid someday. Or twins maybe. I want to teach. I want to preach. I want to model professionally. I want to run a marathon. I want to maybe get a second degree? Only if I need it though.

I want to do A LOT OF THINGS.

What's stopping me? Me.

A lot of people I know have 1-year and 5-year and 10-year goals. I don't.

Why, you ask? Because I never got around to it.

Today, I took the first step towards changing that and started Rick Warren's 1 year Daily Devotional on YouVersion. Here's a snippet of what it promises:

Do you know what God created you for? Do you know God's destiny for your life? If you don't know the answer to these questions, then you may drift through the next ten years of your life instead of living out a Decade of Destiny where you are able to do what God calls you to do. These devotionals by Rick Warren will help you get to where God wants you to go spiritually, financially, emotionally, relationally, and physically. They offer practical steps for reaching the goals God has for you as you follow Jesus into your destiny.

I don't know about you, but a decade of destiny sounds pretty amazing to me.

I'm super excited about this, and I plan to journal my progress once a week here (we all know I won't actually blog about it everyday, but every week seems reasonable enough).


Let's see what comes of it!

Bonus

I really liked this: http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/pictures-that-will-restore-your-faith-in-humanity